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I say handmade, but hands actually had very little to do with it. There exists a little known but ancient practice of women serving food to their paramours prepared, not by hand, but by vulva.
Let me explain. The earliest date to Ireland in the sixth century and they are a goldmine for anyone studying medieval sexuality, as the monks were nothing if not thorough or imaginative when it came to indexing sin.
One of the best known penitentials is Decretum by Burchard of Worms, c. Here, the good bishop lists several penances for preparing food with your fuff notep at the ready. They take a live fish and put it in their vagina, keeping it there for a while until it is dead.
Then they cook or roast it and give it to their husbands to eat, doing this in order to make men be more ardent in their love for them. If you have, you should do two years of penance on the appointed fast days. To the medieval mind this made perfect sense. Touch and transference were very important to both medieval medicine and superstition. Women cooking with their little chefs was clearly something of an area of concern for Burchard of Worms as he goes on to list a of other sinful serving suggestions.
They lie face down on the ground, uncover their buttocks, and tell someone to make bread on their naked buttocks. When they have cooked it, they give it to their husbands to eat. They do this to make them more ardent in their love for them. But, it is the author, John Aubrey who gives the most detailed of kneading the dough. Whilst doing their wabbling, the women would sing.
Once baked, the bread would be delivered to that special someone and left to work its magic. Vulva cooking techniques have witnessed a noticeable decline in modern times, though if you ask me a revival is due. I imagine health and safety would frown on genitalia moulded confectionary and would mandate some kind of hair net be used. It does seem safer to stick to a box of milk tray. Log In. Log In Register now My. Admittedly, literally mixing the […]. By Dr Kate Lister i columnist. July 6, am Updated July 16, pm. The freshest exclusives and sharpest analysis, curated for your inbox address is invalid Thank you for subscribing!
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